I'm no hero

I feel almost a bit funny writing this post. Like I'm going to be stepping on people's toes or something. This isn't meant to be critical or a rebuttal but to gently clarify.

A common misconception with adopting parents is that they're out to 'save' a child. I guess in some ways it can be looked at this way - the children are being 'saved' from living a life in an orphanage (some are really not that bad and others are worse) and instead are given a home with a loving family and with endless life possibilities.

But adoptive parents don't adopt to be a 'hero'. If we were out to simply 'save' a child (or children), our efforts would be most wisely spent funding medical programs, orphanages, schools, or missionaries. All of those could reach far more children with our dollars than it costs to bring home one child into an adoptive family; and at the same time potentially 'saving' a huge number of children from whatever ailed them. It is something I do think of when I sit back and reflect on the expense of the whole adoption process. Really, how many more children could I reach?

In my heart though, I do believe that there is a child out there who belongs in our family. One that has been chosen for us under God's all-knowing guidance. Instead of being 'saved', she will become part of our forever family, where I can simply be her mom.

any questions?

Naturally people have questions around adoption. And for the most part, I'm really okay with that, because if they don't ask, they won't know or may form the wrong notion. (And being a question person myself, I can relate!).

There are times when some insensitive questions just really irk me.

Here's one: (after learning of our adoption) What are you doing that for?

When I am shocked by someone, I generally don't think well on my feet. Thankfully the above was asked of my husband when I wasn't around. I know I will have to come up with some good responses. :)

I read an article that explains this quite well in The Washington Post. It made me smile.

wondering...

Today I went to a friend's baby shower. Although her little girl is not due until the beginning of March, one other lady brought her 9 week old girl along, much to the delight of us attending. I always think the best part of baby showers is the baby.

Looking at her, I couldn't help but think of our baby.
Have you been conceived little one?
Are you growing inside your birth mommy?
Do you know that you are loved?
Are you getting enough nourishment?
What do you look like?
Where are you?
Who are you?

When will I meet you, little one?

a quiet wait & support

The waiting game is not fun. And I know I'm the loser because I can't win it. Closer to the beginning of our adoption process I found the wait so trying...it felt eternal. I was antsy.

Right now, though I don't mind. It's a bit of a peaceful spot - though I am eager to pass on to the next stage. At the moment, it gives me time to focus on today...what we've been through and where it's brought me now.

In the past number of months I have been reflecting on support. Adoption seems to be a word that either makes people cringe or smile. Although I am excited about our process, I don't go advertising that we are adopting - why? I guess because I hate the cringe. And to be honest, my nature is not to shout my life from the rooftops; plus, being an avoider, I don't want to face the cringe. I know the 'cringers' are not supportive, may not understand, and perhaps have their own reasons why they don't agree with it or want to encourage.

Realistically, I don't expect to receive encouragement from everyone who is knowledgeable about our adoption. On the other hand, I did hope to have the support of people close to Kevin and I - be it a positive word, a smile, or simply a promise to pray for us. When our agency went bankrupt last summer, it seemed to bring out the true feelings and thoughts of others towards our adoption. We were at a spot where we didn't think we'd be able to continue the process, even though we desired to. I carried that burden with me - the death of our dream, confusion with God's leading - all summer; I was weighed down and sad. On top of that, learning the true feelings of our 'support' was equally hard - ironically I was glad to know the truth, but sad to face it and deal with it especially on top of everything else.

I still carry some sadness with our loss of support. Knowing that we are led by God, are doing his will, and have hope to carry forward does lighten my load considerably. Unfortunately my relationship with some people will never be the same. I am not harbouring anger or resentment, but the awareness that of a small chasm between us.

And I remain somewhat cautious about relating our adoption plans and instead choose to bask in hope & happiness and share it quietly.

YES!

From the updates I read on Facebook (really reliable source, I know!), sounds like the adopted kids in Haiti get to come home. Woot! Woot!

even closer...

Such good news! From The Globe and Mail:

The Canadian government says it will try to ease the process for future adoptions of Haitian orphans in the face of public pressure to help children left parentless by last week's earthquake.

I think those letters made a difference!

I do appreciate however, that steps are being taken to prevent child trafficing and smuggling from Haiti. As reported in this article from Canada.com, no new dossiers will be opened in Quebec. I'm guessing the other provinces may follow suit.

getting closer...

woot! woot!

Westjet has offered to bring home adopted children...just awesome. :)

Canadians Wait for Word on Adoption
Now just waiting for the governments to get on board.

we've got a number!

Today I called Imagine to find out why we didn't get a number. I thought maybe because our dossier isn't complete yet for Ethiopia they were waiting to assign us one. Instead, they had missed us because we didn't have a dossier to another country, though no fault of ours...so she figured we are around 150. A surprisingly low number...but keep in mind there are 2 lists on the go - one for adopting singles and the other for siblings/twins. So I'm still thinking realistically around 2-3 more years. But the good news is that we are finally on the list!!

worth reading

An article about a friend of mine: Duncan familiy's Haitian adoptees safe, but family awaits reunion. I'm hoping that maybe some media coverage may draw some attention to this issue...and maybe bring a solution(s).

Please consider writing to Jason Kenney and any other related government to encourage them to consider issuing humanitarian visas to bring waiting children home to their adoptive forever families. It is so important!

nothing yet..

So today was the day Imagine was supposed to send out the new "list" of waiting families. We were to have received a number of approximately where we sat on the list. Knowing we were near or at the bottom (since we switched to Ethiopia), I wasn't thinking much about it all week, until yesterday. I waited today, checked my email dozens of times, nothing. Their office is closed now - I even tried phoning. I realized that I just needed reassurance that we were ON the list.

Understandably, our dossier isn't ready - we still have to wait 6 weeks for re-approval for our country switch...but still.

I guess I'll have to wait until Monday. And then hopefully we'll hear something.

heartbreaking...

Although this article is American, it still pertains to all the other countries trying to adopt from Haiti. My heart breaks for the children in the orphanages and the families trying to get them home. Apparantly dossiers have been buried in the rubble...what will this mean?

Please remember them in your prayers...and consider pressuring the government to issue visas right away so the kids can come home!!

welcome

So here goes...
it has taken me a bit to do this blog.

I'd like to say we're now in the middle of our adoption, although it's only been just over a year, and we have another 2-3 year wait ahead of us. As you can see from the timeline on the side, we're sort of in a starting over phase, although I'd rather think of it as a continuation phase - as the steps we're taken are what we need to do to continue.

So I'm hoping that this blog will give some positive updates on the process (I can't imagine going through any more negativity that we have already - maybe more on that later). I'm also hoping that we will be able to raise some of the necessary funds to allow us to continue.

I haven't quite decided how I'll go about fundraising....maybe auction off some crafty things, I dunno. Any ideas are welcome. :)