This blog hasn't been the easiest for me to keep up. For the most part, there hasn't been anything overly exciting to share; and that is still the case as we plow through collecting more paperwork, getting medicals, tests, etc.
I sometimes still think about abandoning this whole blog altogether. This journey has been truly an emotional rollarcoaster, and though I'd love to take any readers along for the ride 'up', most of the time (to me anyways) it has been a downward ride.
For the most part I am a positive person, and I do believe that our adoption process is out of our hands - in the control of a higher power. It's the down times that I don't always care to share, maybe as a self-protection mechanism like if I don't think about it, blog about it, it may not be true...or just simply the fact that I don't want to think about the negatives...
or is it reality I have trouble facing?
If you are not in the adoption world and have somehow landed here and are reading, these 'negatives' really vary and come up rather unexpectedly at times.
changes by Ethio government that are put into effect immediately, requiring changes to paperwork, different regulations, etc
medical limitations to adoptive parents
reduction of adoptions allowed
etc
As my brain sifts such information I weave threads of reminders through them;
the only way I can keep positive.
He is in control
He is sovereign
His heart is for the orphan
And I try to grasp a bit of reality - that this adoption may not happen - and believe it.
For the time being I'll hang on to this blog
and to our dream.
Thanks for hanging on with me.
and please pray with me.
4 comments:
praying Deb. I check this blog often hoping for *something*. I'm sorry this has been a difficult journey for you. *HUG*
I totally understand. It's like our hope for a second (albeit natural) child. Every 30 days there is that slight inkling of a high, and everytime, a few days later there is that low (yes i have a wacky schedule). I hate it when people ask if we are trying, its just another reminder.
Sermon at my church yesterday (well my yesterday) was about leaving the mountaintop. If all our spiritual or life experiences were a high, we'd never appreciate them. So we hang out, hoping for the highs but living in the mids and valleys and remembering and believing the highs will come again. That spoke to me! Your (and mine) highs will come, unless of course we've got different highs awaiting us.
Thinking of you!
I love reading about your ride and knowing how I/we can pray for you and your family. I can't imagine how up and down things must be for you all. I know when we were buying and selling houses I had a hard time not getting down...but a child is much more precious and much more wonderful than a house and I don't know if this heart could take it. God calls those who He knows will be strong enough to withstand the trials that come.
I don't have much commenting time, but I wanted to let you know that I've been praying for you w/ this news. May God bless you with peace and joy in the midst of this storm.
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